Recently I have discovered that I struggle in terms of noticing what is going on around me. I am unaware, unobservant, and clueless. One of my best friends, Meghan, always makes fun of me for being clumsy. I knock things over, I am constantly running into people (or accidentally slapping/hitting/bumping them), and I seem to always have a bruise/cut/stubbed toe. Those things have never really bothered me. I mean, yeah, it can be awkward when I am blundering about, but it has never been a real issue. Until now.
Everyone has a life inside their mind. Some of us live in it more than others, but it is universal. Our thoughts, perceptions, judgments, reactions, dreams, beliefs, etc all make up this world. I think I might live in mine a bit too much....causing the cluelessness. I tend to make things real or not-real in my mind based on my emotions or perceptions instead of actual facts. This world inevitably bleeds into my real-life world and causes a great deal of problems.
I have been dating this boy recently and had overanalyzed and over-thought everything that would happen in my head. Because I had thought through everything I was feeling and everything that was happening in the life in my mind, I believed it was real. But, alas, it was not. During a conversation I had with my boy I realized I was stuck. I had been completely unaware, unobservant, and clueless to the fact that he had no idea how I was feeling because he wasn't in my head. Obviously. I mean, duh Audrey! So I had to build up my courage and bridge the gap between my two worlds. Because nothing will ever be accomplished or gained if those two worlds are not aligned. Yeah, it can be scary to open up the doors to that personal world in your head, but it can be so worth it. Trust me.
So I will definitely still be knocking things over but I am going to try to keep my two worlds more parallel. Not so distant and not so focused on one (aka get out of my head and into the real world). I had one moment where I wasn't scared of showing my inner world to someone else and I found something really great.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Christmas
I love Christmas. I know that everyone does and I am not going to tell you that I somehow love Christmas more than everyone else because honestly it bugs me when people try to claim they love something more than everyone else in the world because there is no way you could ever know that. Sorry...moving on. So I love Christmas for a few reasons. First being that you have a perfect goodbye phrase for every person you meet. At the mall when buying something you no longer have to awkwardly say "thank you" or "have a nice day" a million times before leaving, now you can say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". It's fabulous.
I also love the cold weather. I mean the more clothes you have to wear the more opportunities you have to show how much of a fashionista diva you are! Duh! You have the top, the jacket, the scarf, the necklace, the pants, the boots, and the jacket. So many opportunities and so many options. And you can change your outfit instantly throughout the day by taking off a different layer. Winter is honestly the best season for clothes.
Then we have Christmas shopping. I love thinking about each person I am buying a gift for and choosing what I think they would like. This year I decided to give a book to every person in my family (along with another present...don't worry I'm not that lame... or cheap). I loved doing this because I really had to think about each person and what they would like reading. I gave some novels, some advice books, and some political books depending on the person. I also love Christmas shopping because I inevitably end up coming home with lots of great new stuff for me.
The best thing about Christmas is spending time with family. No school and lots of family time. We always play games, make Christmas treats, talk for hours, and see every good movie in theatres.
And obviously, I love Christmas because it is a time to think about Christ and focus on love, family, religion, charity, and joy.
...but lets be serious I also love the presents.
I also love the cold weather. I mean the more clothes you have to wear the more opportunities you have to show how much of a fashionista diva you are! Duh! You have the top, the jacket, the scarf, the necklace, the pants, the boots, and the jacket. So many opportunities and so many options. And you can change your outfit instantly throughout the day by taking off a different layer. Winter is honestly the best season for clothes.
Then we have Christmas shopping. I love thinking about each person I am buying a gift for and choosing what I think they would like. This year I decided to give a book to every person in my family (along with another present...don't worry I'm not that lame... or cheap). I loved doing this because I really had to think about each person and what they would like reading. I gave some novels, some advice books, and some political books depending on the person. I also love Christmas shopping because I inevitably end up coming home with lots of great new stuff for me.
The best thing about Christmas is spending time with family. No school and lots of family time. We always play games, make Christmas treats, talk for hours, and see every good movie in theatres.
And obviously, I love Christmas because it is a time to think about Christ and focus on love, family, religion, charity, and joy.
...but lets be serious I also love the presents.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Current Favourites and Trying New Things
I am kind of a skincare freak. By no means do I have perfect skin, but I am obsessive about it. I am unable to fall asleep at night if I haven't washed my face and am incapable of applying makeup in the morning if I haven't washed my face. It's a problem. I have literally woken up in the middle of the night to wash my face after having accidentally fallen asleep without going through my cleansing ritual. Because of this (and my extremely sensitive and dry skin), I have gone through quite a few different skincare routines and go through different phases of liking certain products. Here are my current favourites (they are all really moisturizing and are great for sensitive skin):
Recently I have tried some new products that I have really liked. Here they are:
Purity mineral oil-free facial cleansing oil. I love this product because it completely gets rid of all of my makeup at night but doesn't leave my skin feeling stripped after washing. I mostly use it in the winter in UT because it is so dry here and it helps moisturize.
After my cleanser I use Benefit's Moisture prep toning lotion. I love this toner over others because it is moisturizing and it has this fabulous smell. My friend Madi joked that it smells so good she wishes she could take a bath in it. So, it is pretty much a dream to put on.
For my moisturizer I use two products. One all over my skin and one on my really dry areas (forehead, nose, and around the lips). All over my face I have just started using (and loving) Kiehl's ultra facial cream. It is really moisturizing but feels really light. On my really dry spots I use Eucerin original moisturizing creme. This is super super thick and creamy. I love it because when I don't use it my skin can get flaky but this solves that problem beautifully. And it doesn't clog pores! Which is a win.
When I have a lot of eye makeup on I like to use a makeup remover. My favourite is Bioderma's unscented makeup remover. It feels just like water and doesn't leave that nasty greasy residue on your skin like most other removers do. It also doesn't hurt my eyes. It is the only remover I use and I love it.
For my hands I love two lotions. Soap & Glory's Hand Food smells fabulous and is great but it doesn't last very long. I still keep buying it though because I am addicted to the smell (I even bought the perfume...that is how good it is). The second one is amazing and really gets rid of the dry chalky feeling my hands get because of Utah winters. It's Eucerin intensive repair extra-enriched hand creme. It doesn't feel too greasy and works wonders. I take it in my purse with me everywhere.
For my hands I love two lotions. Soap & Glory's Hand Food smells fabulous and is great but it doesn't last very long. I still keep buying it though because I am addicted to the smell (I even bought the perfume...that is how good it is). The second one is amazing and really gets rid of the dry chalky feeling my hands get because of Utah winters. It's Eucerin intensive repair extra-enriched hand creme. It doesn't feel too greasy and works wonders. I take it in my purse with me everywhere.
I have never really used a hair masque before but I got a tester of Gloss Moderne high gloss masque and decided to try it. I was afraid that it would make my hair look greasy or make it heavy and lose all body, but I was wrong! It worked wonderfully! My hair looks shiny but still is light and fluffy. I haven't tried any other hair masques so maybe this one really isn't that great in comparison but I am really impressed with the results it gave my hair.
As I've said earlier I have really dry skin, so I have to use lotion on my body or I feel super dry all day. The problem though, is that I hate the feeling of lotion on my body. I hate the greasy feel. So, I decided to try something new. I got a tester for One Love Organic's aromatic body serum in rose. It is a spray serum that moisturizes the skin and is great. It is an oil so I wasn't sure how it would work out but it didn't leave me feeling oily at all. It noticeably brightened and nourished my skin all with a soft rosy scent. I am definitely going to buy a full bottle of this.
In terms of makeup I have found a few new favourites: Stila stay all day waterproof liquid eyeliner: it is a felt-tip pen-like applicator that gives smooth perfect eyeliner that lasts (but fades towards the end of the day or smudges if you wipe it)--super easy and super pretty (comes in black, grey, brown, blue, and green). Eyeko skinny liquid eyeliner in purple: this is similar to the Stila eyeliner but it is much thicker so the application is harder--I do love it though, because of the fabulous purple shade and because it truly is immovable throughout the day (you have to use a makeup remover at night to really get it off)(comes in green, navy, purple, brown, black). Revlon grow luscious mascara: a great daily mascara that supposedly makes your eyelashes grow (?)....even if it doesn't it really gives your lashes look full and dark. Revlon just bitten kissable balm stain: I LOVE these! They are easy to put on and they last a long time because they are stains. I have tons of shades and they are all great. They are moisturizing, easy to put on, come in a number of great colors, and long lasting.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
My List
Recently I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life. What to major in, what career I want to have, who I want to be, etc. So, I was thinking back on my life and decided to come up with a list of ideals I have taken to heart. Ways of thinking or ideas that have made me who I am. Here is what I've come up with. A list of things I have accumulated in my 19 years of life--some relevant and some not, but all, nonetheless, things that I hold true.
1) If someone calls you a name (be it stupid, ugly, etc) you need to ask yourself if you are that name. Are you stupid or ugly? If not, then why be upset? Clearly they are wrong so who cares? A name means nothing unless you give it a meaning.
2) Stand up for yourself. If you believe in something then really believe in it. Don't compromise your beliefs if others around you don't agree. Be vocal and share your opinion. Maybe I take this a bit too far sometimes when I feel it necessary to let everyone know my view, but I still think it's important. I definitely got in trouble a lot because of this one. When I was a kid if I didn't agree with a teacher I would let them know. And if they were not being fair, I would let them know. Lets just say that there were a few teachers who didn't quite love me.
3) Kids vs Teachers. This was a big one. In my head, all growing up, I had this idea that kids needed to band together against the teacher. Or siblings needed to be one vs parents. I am not sure where or when this idea came about, but it holds true. What it means is that if one student did something bad and the teacher asked who did it, it was the moral responsibility of every student to protect the wrong-doer. You were NOT to rat out the kid. If you did it was bad news. It was also bad if you were the kid who told on another kid to your parent. Apparently I just have never really liked authority.
4) Don't sass talk the police. I learned this the unfortunate way. My mentality of kids vs teachers came into play when I encountered police for the first time. I was none too happy when my friend was pulled over because we were waving our arms out the windows to dance. He, on the other hand, was none too happy when I told him that "uhhh noo we are not drunk or high and are just trying to dance here". Or when I told him that it was fine that we had four people in the back because we were all in seat belts and double-buckles are not illegal.
5) Never take yourself too seriously. Laughing at myself is what makes everything okay. Sometimes I do stupid things or say embarrassing things but I just have to laugh it off. It makes life fun. It is the worst when you think you are amazing and are too embarrassed or proud to admit to your mistakes and laugh them away.
6) Try new things--especially food. There are some delicious things out there in the world and you will never know about them unless you try everything (the weird things included).
7) Everything is better with salt. This is true. And luckily I can get away with this because of my salt deficiency.
8) Drinking a large cup of ice water solves all problems. My friend Charly told me this one and I am not yet sure if I really believe it but here it is.
9) There is no such thing as the "best" country. Every country and every place has its pros and cons. There is beauty in other cultures and in other histories. I love to travel and am so grateful that I have been able to discover this myself. All peoples and all places have things worth seeing and knowing.
10) Makeup makes a day better. If your makeup looks good, you feel good. Also it is important to look the way you want others to see you. If you want to be seen as a lazy hobo, dress like one. If you want to be seen as smart, hard-working, and put together--dress like it. It's important because as much as we all wish it wasn't true, people judge you on your looks.
11) Work hard. No matter what job you are given, do your best. My dad would always tell me that. He would repeat over and over that you need to try your hardest and do your best. You want to be the best at whatever you do and the only way to do that is to work hard.
1) If someone calls you a name (be it stupid, ugly, etc) you need to ask yourself if you are that name. Are you stupid or ugly? If not, then why be upset? Clearly they are wrong so who cares? A name means nothing unless you give it a meaning.
2) Stand up for yourself. If you believe in something then really believe in it. Don't compromise your beliefs if others around you don't agree. Be vocal and share your opinion. Maybe I take this a bit too far sometimes when I feel it necessary to let everyone know my view, but I still think it's important. I definitely got in trouble a lot because of this one. When I was a kid if I didn't agree with a teacher I would let them know. And if they were not being fair, I would let them know. Lets just say that there were a few teachers who didn't quite love me.
3) Kids vs Teachers. This was a big one. In my head, all growing up, I had this idea that kids needed to band together against the teacher. Or siblings needed to be one vs parents. I am not sure where or when this idea came about, but it holds true. What it means is that if one student did something bad and the teacher asked who did it, it was the moral responsibility of every student to protect the wrong-doer. You were NOT to rat out the kid. If you did it was bad news. It was also bad if you were the kid who told on another kid to your parent. Apparently I just have never really liked authority.
4) Don't sass talk the police. I learned this the unfortunate way. My mentality of kids vs teachers came into play when I encountered police for the first time. I was none too happy when my friend was pulled over because we were waving our arms out the windows to dance. He, on the other hand, was none too happy when I told him that "uhhh noo we are not drunk or high and are just trying to dance here". Or when I told him that it was fine that we had four people in the back because we were all in seat belts and double-buckles are not illegal.
5) Never take yourself too seriously. Laughing at myself is what makes everything okay. Sometimes I do stupid things or say embarrassing things but I just have to laugh it off. It makes life fun. It is the worst when you think you are amazing and are too embarrassed or proud to admit to your mistakes and laugh them away.
6) Try new things--especially food. There are some delicious things out there in the world and you will never know about them unless you try everything (the weird things included).
7) Everything is better with salt. This is true. And luckily I can get away with this because of my salt deficiency.
8) Drinking a large cup of ice water solves all problems. My friend Charly told me this one and I am not yet sure if I really believe it but here it is.
9) There is no such thing as the "best" country. Every country and every place has its pros and cons. There is beauty in other cultures and in other histories. I love to travel and am so grateful that I have been able to discover this myself. All peoples and all places have things worth seeing and knowing.
10) Makeup makes a day better. If your makeup looks good, you feel good. Also it is important to look the way you want others to see you. If you want to be seen as a lazy hobo, dress like one. If you want to be seen as smart, hard-working, and put together--dress like it. It's important because as much as we all wish it wasn't true, people judge you on your looks.
11) Work hard. No matter what job you are given, do your best. My dad would always tell me that. He would repeat over and over that you need to try your hardest and do your best. You want to be the best at whatever you do and the only way to do that is to work hard.
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